James Swift

It’s somewhat difficult to review “Remember The Aloe, Moe”. For starters, the author of said novella is a good friend of mine, so from the get-go, I really can not state that I am a neutral, unbiased reviewer. That whole “journalistic integrity” thing certainly irks me, but upon cracking open my signed copy of James Hold’s latest tome, another troubling thought occurred to me: “What if the book isn’t any good?” It would be one thing to review a friend’s literary achievement, but having to publicly decry that same pal’s hard work? That prospect made me incredibly uneasy.

Thankfully, Mr. Hold manages to avoid that scenario by presenting one of the best books of 2007...and I’m not just referring to the wrestling subgenre, either.
Mr. Hold’s initial offering, “Out Of Texas”, was an entertaining read, but it certainly had that “first book” mentality; the plot was a little convoluted at times, some characters were never fleshed out, and there was definitely a “kitchen-sink” vibe going on, with the author throwing in everything from renegade severed hands to gigantic cabbage monsters amongst the primary story. Granted, the basis for Mr. Hold’s series is in itself fairly out there (a Martian cat shape shifts into a luchador and travels about the Texas independent scene while getting into sci-fi tinged shenanigans), but for a book to truly have impact, the main story has to be set in concrete. In his sophomore endeavor, Mr. Hold certainly rectifies the main hindrance of his debut tome and further fleshes out the most successful aspect of his initial offering.

As I was reading “Remember The Aloe, Moe”, the first comparison that entered my mind was the album “Pinkerton” by Weezer. “Pinkerton” was a fairly low key sequel to a debut album that was packed to the brim with subject material and an overlying “feel” that was still quite a bit off from being indicative of the band’s true nature. In many ways, that runs parallel to “Out Of Texas”, a book with a fairly large scope and overall well done execution, albeit a somewhat overtly choppy framing. “Remember The Aloe, Moe”, not unlike “Pinkerton”, is a far more focused outing: the initial vibe of the original work is maintained, but the vitals are far better written, and with more emphasis on intriguing, emotional development as opposed to random high jinks. And like “Pinkerton”, “Remember The Aloe, Moe” is a genuine, moving work that refuses to masquerade as a pretentious genre offering.

The crux of the novel is based upon the main character, the afore mentioned feline-alien-cruiserweight, whose official title is J-Man, and his not-quite-love story with a female admirer whom may or may not be a mosquito (as stated earlier, Mr. Hold definitely has a penchant for the unorthodox). J- Man is a struggling mid-carder finding a modicum of success in a Watts Era WCW facsimile, and the fan favorite bantamweight keeps hitting snags and roadblocks on his quest towards his championship ambitions. Of course, his non-wrestling hours find him engaged in epic quests, waxing philosophical on love and religion, and doing battle with a light saber brandishing Easter Bunny while armed only with a rubber phallus.

Hold’s novel is a clever pastiche of several genres, most noticeably skewing the underbelly of pro wrestling and the outlandishness of conventional science fiction. While many reviewers will remain focused on Mr. Hold’s utilization of the seemingly irrelevant, it does an incredible disservice to the author to not analyze the story’s deeper commentary on the human condition. Of course, this is a James Hold book, so there’s plenty of puns to be found, as without, it would be akin to a Hogan bout sans the atomic leg drop. However, beyond the absurdity and inside jokes, one will discover a deep, heartfelt story about what it means to be different. For anyone that’s ever chased a dream or felt alone in the world, “Remember The Aloe Moe” is a deeply personal tract about regret and disdain, longing and disappointment, with a couple of dildo jokes thrown in for good measure. At it’s core, “Remember The Aloe, Moe” is about convictions and the prospect of instilling one’s faith into a singular entity, be it in deities above or the heart of a significant other, a prospect that in many ways is more terrifying than staring down a 280 pound monster in the ring.

“Remember The Aloe, Moe” is more than just a delightful read, it’s a profound one, to boot. If you’re a fan of wrestling, a post-modern humor connoisseur, or remember the good old days of late night monster movie showings, than this title was written expressively for you. It’s not for everyone, to be sure, but if I know Mr. Hold the way I think I do, that’s the point.

Ten Things I Learned From This Book

* The Easter Bunny Makes Money Via Dildo Manufacturing.
* F=Ma.
* Knowing The Mechanical Faults Of A Time-Card Machine Can Help You Beat A Murder Rap.
* It’s Only A Matter Of Time Until Someone Books An Invisible Wrestler Gimmick
* If A Female Friend Wants To Go Spelunking, She Really Wants To Go “Spelunking”
* For Some Reason, Pizza Themed Ballads Don’t Woo Over Women
* The Two Greatest Sources Of Spiritual Enlightenment Are Via The Bible And The Three Stooges.
* Don’t Let Paul Gordon Book Your Product.
* If Your Girlfriend Tries To Intervene In Your Match, She Will Inevitably Get Hit With “The Asian Mist”.
* Dallas still sucks.

Order this book here.

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