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Pick My Brain:
Mike Coughlin
Internet Wrestling Columnist
January 7, 2008
Showing that we at The Armpit are
masters of beating a dead horse, we called on noted MMA and wrestling
columnist Mike Coughlin for his 4th, count 'em, 4th Pick My Brain with
us.
Recycling old material? You bet.
We like Mike, but as you'll soon see for yourself, this is a different
Mike. The Mike Coughlin of 2002 and 2003 was a verbose, talkative,
eager, hungry teenager who craved the attention. The Mike Coughlin
of 2008 is a much more reserved, serious, mature man in his 20s.
That's great for him, but these Pick My Brain interviews aren't about
being serious and mature.
But he's still Mike, and he's always worth listening to. Enjoy our
first PMB of 2008!
1. Welcome back, Kotter, I mean, Coughlin. This is your 4th
interview with us, which makes you the most interviewed person in the
history of the Armpit. Please use this opportunity to tell everyone
what this means to you, and then, list all your plugs.
www.Wrestlingobserver.com for my columns
www.Figurefouronline.com for my radio show and columns
2. When we first interviewed you, you were an immature college
sophomore. It is now six years later, and having known you for so long,
we feel like we've raised you. Son, please tell us how you've grown as
a human being since you were 18. In other words, we haven't talked to
you in a long time, so how the heck are ya??
I’m doing pretty well.
3. Like everyone else in the male 18-34 demographic, your interests
have moved strongly away from wrestling and toward MMA. To your credit,
you were an MMA fan long before the recent UFC boom. Among your circle
of friends, what are their general feelings towards wrestling nowadays,
and are they all strictly MMA fans now?
I do not know a single person that watches pro wrestling. Conversely, I
know plenty of people that watch MMA – folks that used to think I was
weird for watching it. In many respects, the popularity of MMA has
mirrored that of pro wrestling during the 90s boom: “kids” that once
swore it was dumb are now quite proud to admit being fans.
4. 2007 gave us some incredible fights, both emotional and
physical. What is your vote for the best fight of the year?
A. Randy Couture vs. Tim Sylvia (for the emotion)
B. Nick Diaz vs. Taka Gomi (for that killer 1st round)
C. Randy Couture vs. Gabe Gonzaga (for the pure amazement)
D. Frank Edgar vs. Tyson Griffin (for the action)
E. Clay Guida vs. Tyson Griffin (for the action)
F. Matt Serra vs. GSP (for the upset)
G. Michael Bisping vs. Elvis Sinosec (for the heat)
H. Wanderlei Silva vs. Dan Henderson (the last great fight PRIDE ever
had)
I. Frank Shamrock vs. Phil Baroni (for the heat)
J. Other (please specify)
B. This is so close. I think any fight with Tyson Griffin was a legit
contender this year (his September bout against Thiago Tavares was also
great), but I personally had so much of my own reputation riding on the
Nick Diaz fight – having publicly talked him up as beating Gomi for a
long time, and defending the little pothead whenever it was necessary –
that his victory was extra sweet to me. I also think, and it’s
understandable given that it never aired on PPV and only the folks in
the arena (like me) saw it, that the Matt Grice v. Jason Black fight
from UFC 77 was incredible. Yoon Dong Sik (THE DONGER~!) v. Melvin
Manhoef from the K-1 Dynamite!! show in June was also memorable.
5. Last time we spoke, you talked about a book you were going to
write. Did that ever see the light of day?
I actually have written about 1/3 of a tome. I’ve also written many,
many short stories. And I’m writing a musical (yes, that’s correct).
They’ve not seen the light of day.
6. Any plans to fight again?
Yup. I’ve gotta do it just one last time. I know I’ll get my ass
kicked, but I just can’t help it. I’ve no idea when this will happen,
BUT IT SHALL!
7. It has been quite a year for MMA writers. Dave Meltzer went to
FOX Sports, and just weeks later, jumped to Yahoo. Todd Martin also
went to FOX Sports for awhile. You've got a radio show, and also write
on MMA. What the f*ck is going on here, and when are you going to get
your big break?
Tom Brady didn’t get drafted until the sixth round.
8. What is your prediction for these promotions for the year 2008?
UFC: They will make money and put on some big shows.
WEC: I think it’ll produce entertaining shows that will be
enjoyed by everyone that sees them. How many people that is is a
different story altogether.
EliteXC: Hopefully it’ll stop buying every promotion around.
Seriously, was it necessary to buy Cage Rage?
IFL: If they make it to 2009, that’s a freaking miracle.
Bodog Fight: Will not exist by 2009.
M-1: A total mystery.
StrikeForce: The smartest run company in many respects. Good,
solid booking across the board, with the most important thing being they
recognize they’re limitations and live within them. Kind of the “ROH”
of MMA.
K1: They’ll be around and will put on some good shows, but it’ll
be a K-1 show, so it will emphasize freak fights more than anything.
PRIDE (never hurts to dream): Nope.
9. You have probably been guilty in the past of thinking that PRIDE
guys would destroy UFC guys if they ever ended up fighting. Well, 2007
was a very telling year, but you wrote a good column awhile back that
gave a unique perspective on this. Briefly, what are your thoughts on
this subject?
That it’s much ado about nothing. The UFC has four champions right now:
Matt Serra at 170, Anderson Silva at 185, Rampage Jackson at 205, and
Randy Couture at HW (technically). Half of those champions could be
considered “PRIDE” fighters. There is such fluidity between the
promotions that I think it’s ridiculous to state such and such a fighter
is a “PRIDE” fighter and, moreso, that his victory represents some grand
win for ALL the PRIDE fighters (and vice versa). Sean Sherk, Chuck
Liddell, Rampage Jackson, Bustamante, Henderson, Shogun, Nogueira, have
fought in both UFC and PRIDE, as have most of the top fighters in the
business. When Rampage beats Liddell it’s proof that Rampage is better
than Chuck, nothing more, nothing less.
10. You wrote recently that you predict Brock Lesnar to one day be
the man who finally beats Fedor Emelianenko. Personally, we feel Lesnar
is going to have a tough time beating even Frank Mir. What are your
predictions and thoughts on Lesnar entering UFC?
I think it’s a good fight for Lesnar. I’m actually half-way done with a
BIG column looking at all this, so I shant tip my hand TOO much. Long
and short: Mir is the level of fighter Lesnar should beat if he’s ever
to become a truly elite HW.
11. Dana White is on record saying Fedor sucks and that Randy
Couture would destroy him. We respect Dana, and we know he said that
because he thought it was good for business, but come on now. Randy is
the man, but Fedor?? He's the greatest fighter to ever walk the Earth,
including dinosaurs. In your opinion, who would win the following dream
matches, and how? (Note: some of these fights are already scheduled to
happen)
Randy Couture vs. Fedor Emelianenko:
Fedor. Two master game planners, but I’m going with the younger dude
that hits really, really, really hard.
Wanderlei Silva vs. Chuck Liddell:
A year ago, I’d have said Liddell and I wouldn’t have hesitated. Now,
it’s closer to a tossup but I think Chuck will still take it. I worry
about his power though. (Mike’s note: I answered this question BEFORE
the Chuck-Silva fight happened.)
Matt Hughes vs. Matt Serra:
Hughes.
Sokoudjou vs. Houston Alexander:
Sudoku
Mirko Cro Cop vs. Randy Couture:
Couture
Tim Sylvia vs. Fedor Emelianenko:
Fedor
Sean Sherk vs. BJ Penn:
Penn
Dan Henderson vs. Anderson Silva:
Tossup. I’ll get back to you in a month or two once I’ve had a few
weeks to break them both down.
Tank Abbott vs. Kimbo Slice:
Kimbo, cause Tank doesn’t care.
Jens Pulver vs. Urijah Faber:
Faber, probably, but I just want to see him get punched in the face one
time. If Faber’s nose explodes, I’ll be happy. Don’t know why, but I
find him hateable.
Rampage Jackson vs. Tito Ortiz:
Rampage.
Kurt Angle vs. Daniel Puder:
Ha.
Dana White vs. Tito Ortiz (boxing):
White.
Chuck Zito vs. anyone in UFC:
KenFlo would eat Zito alive.
Blake Bowman vs. Andy Wang:
Wang and it’s not even close. The dude CAN fight. Just cause you’re
not elite doesn’t mean you can’t fight. Bowman can’t fight, period.
12. Please answer the following Yes/No questions (with comments, if
you'd like).
Dixie Carter should fire Vince Russo: Yes.
You want to see Karen Angle naked: I wouldn’t say no.
You want to see Dixie Carter naked: I wouldn’t say no.
Dana White has probably said something stupid within the past 5 days:
Yes. And I’m willing to bet it involves Sean Sherk.
Randy Couture is underpaid: One of my favorite movies is “The
Edge,” starring Anthony Hopkins. In it, Hopkins’ character says, “Never
feel sorry for a man with a plane.” Never feel sorry for a millionaire
that gets to fight for a living.
UFC's prelim fighters are underpaid: No. You’re worth what you
can get.
Brian Gewirtz is overpaid: I doubt it, to be honest. I’ve got a
feeling that dude works some loooooong hours.
You have a crush on Brooke Hogan: Nope.
You have a crush on Linda Hogan: Yup. Got a restraining order to
prove it.
You would get in the car with Nick Hogan: Nope.
You would negotiate a raise at work with Hulk Hogan as your advisor:
Nope.
You still have a crush on Brie from Desperate Housewives:
Particularly since news came out that she’s got some “revealing” photos
floating around.
The Simpsons has jumped the shark: Heavens, yes.
However, The Simpsons movie was awesome: It was surprisingly
good.
Howard Stern is your radio idol: I’ve listened to maybe 5 minutes
of Stern in my life.
Don Imus, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and Michael "Kramer" Richards are
racists: Probably not, probably, probably nuts.
Going to college paid off for you: It allowed me to go to more
school, for whatever that’s worth.
If Rudy Giuliani runs against Hillary Clinton in '08, you'll vote for
Rudy: I’m holding out for a Paul/Nader ticket.
You read our quizzes every week on WrestlingObserver.com: Yup.
A trained 135-lb fighter would beat up an untrained 250-lb guy on the
street: Yup.
Right now is a great time to buy a house: I think more people
should build their own homes by hand.
13. Konnan said in a TNA promo that he'd never take orders from a
white man. But if JBL said something similar on SmackDown, but instead
said he'd never take orders from a black man, the internet wrestling
community would be rioting. We say Konnan is racist and should’ve been
fired for that remark. What is your opinion on this?
Not knowing the context of Konnan’s statement (seriously, you think I’m
watching TNA?), I can’t really comment. But, I think this is probably a
statement of how much TNA sucks than anything. Yeah, Konnan should have
more love for whitey though.
14. We've had fun talking with you in the past about your political
beliefs. As a conservative, what are your brief thoughts on the
following issues? You can always say "No comment."
The war in Iraq: No comment.
Government-run healthcare: No comment.
Immigration: No comment.
I hate coming across like a coward on all this stuff, but I’ve become a
firm believer that people come to hear/read about my views on MMA, not
politics. If I want to talk about politics, I should start a blog or
something. It’s irresponsible of me to take advantage of a public forum
to spout off on stuff that I’ve not yet proven to be competent to
discuss.
15. No one (including us) can begin to explain why Chris Benoit did
what he did. Care to take a crack at it?
Mankind has struggled with the concept of evil and evil acts since the
dawn of time. I’m not going to provide more insight than anyone else.
16. Very briefly, what are your solutions to the following
wrestling/MMA problems? We know this is a lot to ask, so you can just
sum up your thoughts briefly. But if you're in the mood to write more,
please be our guest.
Steroids in wrestling: Vince can eliminate it tomorrow if he wants.
Steroids in MMA: Punishments need to be so severe that no athlete
will chance it.
Cutting weight and the drastic, unhealthy measures most take:
Weigh-ins the day of the fight.
What to do with PRIDE: It’s over, it’s dead, it’s never coming
back. The UFC simply isn’t going to figure out the Japanese market
because that’s a wacky world. Best to just save money and run the WEC
instead.
What to do with ECW: Add Santino.
The hard travel schedule in wrestling: Maybe implement a Japanese
system of two weeks on, two weeks off or something.
Overexposure on Spike TV: I don’t think it has happened with the
UFC. I believe that the highlight shows that run do NOT overexpose the
product. I view those in the same light as ESPN showing “classic
Superbowl moments” and all that. I think it serves to keep the sport
fresh in people’s mind. I think people flip through the channels, see
Hughes v. BJ Penn for example, watch the fight, and then move on with
life. The UFC realistically has one hour of first run programming a
week, that’s FAAAR from too much. They could probably produce two hours
a week and not risk overexposing the product.
The played out concept of Ultimate Fighter: I’d like to see them
take each team and put them in a different camp: send half the guys to
Miletich and half to Xtreme Couture or something. Let guys live in the
real world so we can see how an actual fighter lives, not how a guy in a
house with no TV lives. Show us the wives and girlfriends, show us a
fighter dealing with a crying baby at 3 AM.
Avoiding boring fights: It can’t be done. You can do your best
to avoid booking fights that will be boring on paper (anything involving
Tim Sylvia), but boring fights will still happen, even between two
exciting fighters.
Randy Couture's resignation: I don’t know. I think the UFC would
do whatever it takes to get him back, but Couture has dug his heels in
pretty deep on this one. I honestly think it might ALMOST be worth it
(it is NOT, but it is ALMOST) to let Couture go fight Fedor in M-1, so
long as it’s not on USA PPV. Let Randy get the fight he wants and buy
some goodwill so you can get him back as a long-term ambassador for the
sport.
17. When the Armpit came back this past September, we decided to
“cover” MMA as well as wrestling. We feel some readers haven’t taken
kindly to that, because our MMA spoofs don’t get as many pageviews as
our wrestling spoofs. To wrestling fans reading this right now, what
would you say to them to convince them to become MMA fans?
It’s ironic, but for years wrestling fans were told to pretend wrestling
was real in order to enjoy it, so I’ll say the opposite: pretend MMA is
fake and I’ll bet you love it. Wacky characters, interesting
storylines, and entertaining action all abound. You won’t find
necrophilia or faux crucifixions or 20 minute boring promos or most of
the things most wrestling fans hate.
18. Since you never “resigned” from your duties as guest writer of
the Circular Square, has it ever occurred to you that you still work for
us?
Every day.
19. UFC was handed a money-making rematch following the Matt Hamill-Michael
Bisping decision. Personally, we’d do the rematch in the U.S., because
it would make a star out of Hamill in that he’d get a natural,
sympathetic, babyface reaction. Not only that, he’d probably win, and
you’ve got a new superstar whom the media would love. What are your
thoughts on that fight, and how would you handle the rematch?
Just like that. I’d do it in Ohio (where Hamill is from). But, Mike
has moved down to 185, so another no-brainer has fall by the wayside.
20. Mike, thanks so much for answering our ridiculous questions.
This is your 4th Pick My Brain, and surely not your last. Please use
this last question to say any last words to our readers.
Any last words to our readers.
---------------------
Good stuff. Some of you will write in and say Mike was phoning it
in, and maybe he was, but keep in mind how much work this guy does...
for free. 90% of his time is spent doing things that don't pay
him, so I say cut the guy some slack. The dude is busy, and he
knows is MMA. And he's always made time for us these past 5 years,
so show him some support.
Please check out Mike at
f4wonline.com and
wrestlingobserver.com. Thanks Mike.
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