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Mock My Brain:

Rob Feinstein

Owner of RF Video

June 13, 2005   

We asked these in 2002.  If the questions seem outdated, that's why.  As for Rob's wardrobe being outdated, we can't explain that.

Disclaimer: This is a mock interview.  Rob didn't really answer these questions.  We did.  But we know it's what Rob would say. 

1.  First off, tell us where we can learn more about anything you'd like to plug.  Don't be shy, this is your chance to sell yourself.

Hi, my name is Rob Feinstein and I'm a single, white male.  I enjoy long walks on the beach, long drives down San Francisco's Castro district, and cozy nights at home on the couch watching "Ellen" and "Golden Girls."  I'm very faithful, loyal, and loving. 

My favorite bands include R.E.M., Boy George, Elton John, and Madonna.  Give me a call and we'll talk, laugh, meet, and we'll see what happens from there.  Age is not important to me, so I want to hear from all of you!

2.  I gotta say, Ring of Honor is one excellent name for a promotion.  In your opinion, what is the lamest name ever used by a wrestling promotion?

a) GLOW.  Isn't GLOW a women's promotion?  Yuck, none for me.

b) Incredibly Strange Wrestling.  Well it WAS based out of San Francisco, so it has that going for it.  I'm intrigued.

c) Ron's Championship Wrestling.  Dumb name, but who's Ron?  I'd LOVE to meet him.

d) WWE.  Tom Cole didn’t know how lucky he was. 

3.  You've said in interviews that you didn't want to be like the other

indies by running the ECW Arena.  In reality, what percentage of your

audience would you estimate as being ex-ECW fans?

Well, being that we used to draw 1/5th of what they drew, I'd say no more than 10% tops.  The rest of the fans we drew came from my working relationship with NAMBLA.

4.  You've sold out 2 of your 3 shows so far.  Can you really make much of a profit by selling out only 425 seats, are do you rely mainly on post-show videotape sales?

Nope, no profit, even after the video sales.  You're forgetting I drive a Lexus, dine on lobster every night, and have VIP's at all the hottest male strip joints across the country.  Every dollar we make finds its way not into ROH's bank account, but in male G-strings.

5.  You've made enough money selling videos that you started your own promotion.  Am I the only one who thinks WWE is pissing away millions by not marketing their extensive WCW/ECW video collection?

No, but speaking of pissing, golden showers makes my toes curl.  So much so that I’d probably fit into the Iron Sheiks boots.

6.  What is your brief prediction on the outlook for each of these

promotions over the next year?

-XWF: The fact that they're no longer in business 3 years after you wrote these questions should tell you all you need to know about their odds of success.

-NWA TNA: I’m not really into T & A, obviously.  NWA: Butts & Nuts sounds better.

-WWE: Mmmmmm, Randy Orton (drools).  Cena's good too, but Randy, my goodness.  If he's the Diva Killer, then wax my body and string me up in a bikini.  I want the RKO so bad I can taste it.  Big Ol' Bob Orton ain't half bad either.  He's a real cowboy, and I want to be the saddle when he spreads his legs on his big handsome horse.  Hey Bob and Randy, if you love horses, then you'll love me because I'm hung like one.  It's just wrong, baby, and I don't want to be right!

-Ring of Honor:  Yeah, well it didn't work out.  It's okay, because I almost got some after bragging about how I owned it.  As the song goes, "Dangerous, but worth the risk."

7.  You were a huge ECW fan.  Which element of ECW did you prefer the most, and why?

a) The Malenko-Guerrero Classics.  Mmmmmmm, Dean-o Machine-o was the man of 1,000 holds?  I'll gladly be the judge of that!

b) New Jack vs. Erich Kulas.  That New Jack is just a big ol’ bully.  I’m a lover not a fighter.

c) Cyrus vs. Joel Gertner.  The Quintessential Stud-Muffin indeed.  I dig chubby intellectuals.

d) RVD vs. Jerry Lynn.  I always wanted to know what RVD had in his BVD's. 

e) Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer.  I can understand why they feuded for so long.  If I was Tommy I’d be upset that I couldn’t “beat” Raven either, tee hee.

8.  Who was right and wrong in both the ECW/Dennis Corraluzzo double-cross of '94, and Bret/Vince of Montreal of '97?

Dennis and Bret both are crazy if they think getting screwed is something to complain about.

9.  Few promoters can resist being on-camera characters.  Watts, Vince, Shane, Stephanie, Gordon, Heyman, Cornette, Baba, Inoki, Maeda, etc.  Can the Rob Feinstein heel owner gimmick be just around the corner?

I'm better at doing stuff from behind ...  the cameras.

10. Your ROH main events are awesome, but physically demanding.  If you ever run a full schedule, how can you expect the talent to work so stiff on a frequent basis without getting injured?

I work stiff on a frequent basis, so why can't they?

11. When you look back on your old ECW TV promo's, do you get embarrassed, proud, sad, or inspired?

I’m proud of my work.  Plus, it’s a great thing to show my dates.  Until their parents call to say it’s a school night and they have to come home.

12. If ECW's significant cult following could barely break even on PPV, how does Jerry Jarrett expect to?

Obviously he doesn't expect to.  No one else expects him to, either.  But that doesn't make him any less sexually appealing.  Oh wait, you didn't ask about that.  Well, I'm telling you anyway.

13. Yes or No, has Rob Feinstein ever issued someone a check that bounced?

The only things that bounce around me are bed springs.  Preferably on a race car bed.

14.  What is your favorite shoot interview that you've ever produced?

That one where I was interviewed on the local news after nearly getting arrested for sex with a minor.  That was hilarious, and that was a shoot.

15. You've sold many Best-of tapes and maybe even a few PPVs over the years.  How did you obtain the rights to sell all that copyrighted footage, and were you ever threatened with legal action?

I may not have the legal right to get married, but I have the legal right to refuse this question.  I plead the filth, I mean, the 5th.

16. To crown your 1st champion, you're planning a 60-minute main event.  ECW made its mark with a 40-minute 3-way dance in '94.  Still, do you think your audience will have the attention span, or will they leave in droves like the Bret/Shawn Iron Man match?

I've been in several 60-minute 3-ways, and none of us ever got tired and “stood at attention” if you know what I mean.

17. If your stars get over big (they already are, it seems), do you have a fear WWE will snatch them away?

I hate that word, 'snatch.'  But I like the word 'big.'  Oh, what was the question?  No, WWE won't steal my guys away.  Have you seen them?  They're short, flabby, tiny, and bland.  Nobody wants to see guys like that, hence our low crowd attendance.

18. What is your feeling on blading, especially so early in your promotional career?

It sucks, it really, really sucks.  Although some men love the hair-less look, I feel it makes me look older than I really am.  I like having hair, and I like having it grabbed and ... oh wait, you said "blading,”not "balding,”  Sorry.

19. Vince Russo: Creative genius or worst booker of all-time?

How about, hottest man alive?  Grow back your 5 o'clock shadow, Vinnie!!  Me want more stubble!

20. Finally, what is the greatest non-ROH match you've ever seen?

Pat Patterson vs. Gerald Brisco Evening Gown Match.  I pop it in when I have dates over, and we both get even more man-hungry.  One thing leads to another, and well, if I told you the rest, I'd be under arrest.  Thanks Professor for the great questions! 

You gotta hand it to Rob for being a great sport and answering our questions honestly.  Thanks Rob.

Disclaimer: This is a mock interview.  Rob didn't really answer these questions.  We did.  But we know it's what Rob would say.