Main

Build a Better Body

Learn Self Defense

Meet Women

 

 

It Makes No F'n Sense

The Illogical World of Pro Wrestling & MMA

The idea for this section is for all of you to contribute those wacky instances in wrestling and mixed martial arts (MMA) that, well, make no f'n sense.  The things that make you scratch your head.  The things that, after thinking them through, you feel insulted to be a wrestling fan. 

If you have something to add that makes no sense, please contact us.  Let's go.

Hit the Music

Okay, how is it that every time someone does a run-in, or every time someone comes out to respond to a promo, his/her entrance music comes on?  Is there some magic button they hit on the way out that turns the music on?  How does the guy in the truck know that Batista is going to save Ric Flair? 

Does Batista stop by the truck first and say, "Hey guys, I'm gonna save Ric, hit my music."  If so, then remind me never to hire a wrestler to save me from a fight, beatdown, fire, or earthquake.  If Ric is getting his tail kicked in the ring, Batista should save Ric first and not worry about his stupid music.

Why can't guys just do a run-in without their music?  It seems more real, and the fans will still pop.  When Foley won the WWF title for the first time, Austin made the save and his music did hit.  The crowd went ape sh*t.  If done only in certain situations, sporadically, it works.  But every damn week? 

Infidelity

Why do fans chant "You screwed Matt" at Lita and Edge?  Yes, they screwed Matt, but pretty much every wrestler has screwed with someone else.  Vince screwed Linda by cheating on her for so many damn years.  Why does no one chant "You screwed Linda" at Vince? 

We won't even publish other stories we happen to know, but cheating on your spouse is commonplace in wrestling.  Ric Flair has admitted it.  But he's treated like a God.  Why not chant "You screwed Beth" at him?  When Sting became a born again Christian, he reportedly ratted out Lex Luger to his wife.  Lo and behold, Lex got a divorce and shacked up with Liz.  Shane Douglas admitted in interviews that Dusty would screw women in the locker room in WCW.  John Cena has admitted to sleeping around on the road, often with two women at once.  You're gonna tell me all those groupies are single?  Hell no.  Chances are, at least one was married or had a boyfriend.  I'm sure many of them were nice guys, like Matt is.  So why don't we chant at Cena? 

Have we all forgotten the Woman/Kevin Sullivan/Chris Benoit love triangle?  The examples are endless.  Yet we all focus on Lita and Edge.  It makes no f'n sense.  And speaking of which....

Thou Shall Forgive

According to Matt Hardy, he and Lita still socialize.  But... he hates Edge.  Why?  What's the damn difference?  They both lied.  They both betrayed him.  They both did the unforgivable.  So why be cool with Lita, and hate Edge?  Why not be cool with both?

Of course, common sense says he should hate both, but oh well. 

DDP

Everyone rags on DDP for wanting to script out his matches, move by move.  He can't "wing it," so they say. 

That may be true, but then why are wrestlers forced to give scripted promos?  Why is it looked down upon to "wing it" in promos and go against the script, but it's okay to wing it in matches?  What's the difference? 

Ref Bumps

Amazing how, after all these years, with all these ref bumps, that a wrestling company wouldn't insist on having a second referee ready, willing, and able to come in just in case the first ref is hurt.

There's always a back-up for something.  If the lights go out, there are emergency lights and candles.  If the President gets shot, there's the Vice President.  But if one ref goes down, even with a million refs backstage, no one ever runs in.  Well, sometimes they do, but only if it fits into the storyline.

And if reffing is so hard, why are people brought in off the streets as "guest" refs?  Shawn Michaels, Mike Tyson, James Douglas, Mr. T, Tito Ortiz, Jesse Ventura, Ole Anderson, Vince Russo, and seemingly everyone in the world has been a guest referee.  Does this job require no training??  What a slap in the face to the Hebner twins.  It makes no f'n sense.

#1 Contender

What constitutes who gets a title shot?  Christian loses every week, but he was granted a shot against Batista.  Edge won a Money in the Bank match, AND he won the Raw tourney to get a shot at Batista.  But Mohammed Hassan goes undefeated, and gets no shot.  What about Shelton Benjamin?  As the I-C champ, shouldn't he be #1 contender automatically?  Where is the Top 10?  WCW had one in the early 90s, even though it made no sense.  But this makes no sense either.  It all makes no f'n sense.

Standing in Place

When Undertaker does the tight rope walk, why doesn't his opponent just knock him off?  He always stands there like an idiot, waiting to get hit.  Whenever a wrestler comes off the top rope, his opponent just stands there, waiting forever to get landed on.  Few things look so incredibly stupid.

Off the Top Rope

Why does Ric Flair go off the top rope, when he never lands the move?  He always gets caught and gets slammed.  Every single damn time.  And he still keeps doing it.  And he's supposed to be the greatest wrestler of all-time.  Boy, if I was a regular casual fan, I sure wouldn't think he was great at all.

Who's the Boss?

Who makes the matches, the commissioner, or Vince?  Can Vince overrule Eric Bischoff and Teddy Long?  And if so, how come when WWE did a taping in Minnesota, Governor Jesse Ventura was able to overrule Vince? 

Two World Champions

You have Batista who is the World Champion, and John Cena who is the WWE Champion.  Batista, who holds the World Championship, represented by WWE, making him the WWE World Champion......but  John Cena is the WWE Champion.  (thanks to Mike Perry, Houston, TX)


The Worm

Why is it that 90% of the time, NOBODY moves while Scotty 2 Hotty does the prelude to the Worm.  I mean, the crowd is telling the guy that it's coming by chanting W.O.R.M.  I mean, it takes 5 minutes for him to hop and chop, and the guy is out from that simple karate chop? (thanks to Mike Perry, Houston, TX)


Best 2 out of 3 fall matches

Plain and simple.  Have we ever seen a best 2 out of 3 end in 2 falls??  I haven't.  (thanks to Mike Perry, Houston, TX)

 

Microphones

In addition to "hitting the music" every time they come out, why is it all wrestlers stand face to face and still need to use a microphone to hear each other talk?  Does all that pounding on the mat lead to hearing loss?  Imagine a scene where a wrestler comes home, unlocks his door and -- all of a sudden his music starts blaring. His wife comes out of the kitchen, covering her ears, and yells, "For Chrissakes, can you please turn it down?" To which the wrestler reaches for the coat rack where hangs a convenient cordless microphone, and he starts talking to her: "Now what I'd like, is for all you lazy Oprah-addicted housewives, to go into that kitchen and fetch your man a dinner." (thanks to James Hold, Missouri City, TX)

Dumb Announcers

Chris Masters comes out and throws some dude around like a rag doll, as usual, but then, finally, Steven Richards comes out and attacks him......and Lawler says: "Who is that? Was he from the crowd?"..........Yes Jerry Lawler doesn't know who Stevie Richards is, but furthermore, assumes that wrestling fans attend events oiled up and in wrestling tights. That just struck me as a really stupid thing to say. (thanks to Dan Buday, Saskatchewan, Canada)

Who's The Dude With The Camera?

With all the shenanigans going on backstage, why does no one acknowledge the presence of the freakin' camera?  Is it there? Is it not there?  Why was a camera allowed backstage to watch Kane abuse Lita...speaking of which... (thanks to Dan Buday, Saskatchewan, Canada)

Watch Your Re-runs
 

Okay, so Matt Hardy didn't know what Kane was doing to Lita?...Why couldn't he just watch a tape of last week's show?  Are all the competitors denied access to televisions, phones, etc?  Couldn't Jeff just call and say, "Hey, I saw the show...oh by the way, Kane raped Lita.  You coming over for supper this week?..We're having fajitas." (thanks to Dan Buday, Saskatchewan, Canada)

Where Are the Police?
 

If I was to hit a guy with a sledgehammer during a televised boxing match or hockey game, wouldn't I be charged with assault?  Does sports entertainment mean no law enforcement? What about all the attempted murders using a car that nearly hits?  We'll put Stone Cold on the case. Thank you CSI. (thanks to Dan Buday, Saskatchewan, Canada)
 

Ref Bumps Part II
 

I know you covered ref bumps before, but why are all referees made out to be hemophiliacs, where accidentally being caught in the turnbuckle between an Irish whip and a performer temporarily puts you in a coma? (thanks to Dan Buday, Saskatchewan, Canada)

Hardcore Matches
 

How come in hardcore matches, there are garbage cans in the bottom of the ring? Who in the Hell leaves trash under the ring? Does anyone clean under the ring while the match is going on? (thanks to Rushdi Haque)

 

If you have something to add that makes no sense, please contact us.