Ask the Armpit

We welcome your comments and questions on the world of pro wrestling, mixed martial arts (MMA), and the Armpit in general. To submit your comments, please use the form on our Contact Us page.

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I love your site. I think a good interview would be with CZW announcer Eric Gargiulo. I met him at CZW and we talked about websites, I mentioned yours and he popped huge for it. He is a pretty funny guy on his show too. His site is www.prowrestlingradio.com and I think there are email contacts on there.

Keep up the good work

Tony

Armpit: We'd love to interview Eric, and he is excited about doing it.

Hey WP,

I'm the "idiot" who wrote the WrestleMania VIII review, and who apparently didn't know that Sid failed a drug test. Well, Sid DIDN'T fail a drug test and it WASN'T, I repeat, WAS NOT a shoot. This has been a rumor online for years, just like when the Ultimate Warrior died. I've confirmed this through people like Scott Keith, Dave Scherer, etc. So tell the idiot who wrote the letter to do his homework next time.

Mike

Stunning Steve Austin didn't exist in 1992. How could Heyman have made that quote (in your Famous Quotes page) then?

Daryl

Armpit: "Stunning" Steve Austin did in fact exist in 1992. He debuted the gimmick in WCW in 1991 I believe, and kept until late 1992, when he formed a tag team with Brian Pillman called "Hollywood Blonds."

Who are Teddy Hart's parents?

Judy

Armpit: Georgia Hart and BJ Annis. Teddy's real last name is Annis.

I was at the ECW fire incident event, I was backstage.

I'm sure you know this, but Terry Funk went insane afterwards. Yelling "It's Not Right!" Throwing a standup fan through a table.

Everyone, and I mean, everyone, cleared far away from Funk. I just slowly walked up a staircase, staying far away from the fray. A short time later, Funk came back and apologized.

It was intense to say the least. I remember it vividly, to this day.

Rich

Armpit: That was one house show I'll never forget.

It (Undertaker refuses to sell for baby daughter) was a great story, one of the finest pieces of satire I've read in a long time.

Bill

To whomever,

I enjoy your website. It's always interesting to read. Now I don't always agree with it so here goes a major complaint with your top 5 most wanted.

Bob Holly-Now a lot of internet, armchair quarterbacks like to call him out as a bully. What these guys don't realize is this is WRESTLING. As a veteran about what happened to Matt. I remember sitting there watching it, and thinking what the big deal was. I have wrestled for over 10 years and it is not for crybabies. When watching it, Bob Holly was not taking advantage of him. To me it looked innocent. Re-watch it, Matt was at fault for not giving enough chest first of all. He was floundering around like a lot of rookies do. He got caught with a boot to the eye. BIG DEAL! I am proud of him for not complaining, why should he. That is part of this business.

JBL-I don't understand why everyone is so upset with him? For those that are upset with him for throwing a couple potatoes at Blue Meanie, all I have to say is enjoy watching MARK. Blue Meanie called him out. All JBL did was buck up and be a man. Some say he threw cheapshots, he showed all intentions of going after Meanie.

You see wrestling is a business that is not politically correct nor should it be. It is a business that not everyone should be allowed to be in. One of the prerequisites for being a wrestler should be toughness. Do you think all the guys that broke in under Verne Gange would have sympathy for these guys? Hell no they don't. They were stretched, beat up, and ran ragged to get into this business. As EVERYONE that wants to get into wrestling should be. Separate the MEN from the BOYS.

You know what is wrong with wrestling today? It's too easy to become one. When I started some of the older guys were ruff with me. But today when I walk in a lockeroom with them (those that are left), I carry respect. Because I went through it without complaining. These guys that cry on the internet about how this guy is being a bully, is because they were locked in their lockers when the were in school. And they sit safely behind there computers.

You have my permission to print this, as I really don't have anything to hide. And I would gladly defend my position.

Matt Farmer

Armpit: Thanks for writing, but this is typical old school mentality. WWE is a Fortune 1000 company, and in big companies like that, there is no room for bullying and assault. Just because it has been that way for decades doesn't make it right. Wrestling, like all companies, needs to be progressive and change with the times. Meanie taunted JBL, yes. But that was part of the show and he was playing on their internet feud that the smart fans in attendance were probably aware of. What JBL did wasn't for show, and he should've been fired, sued, and punished in a court of law. Have you ever heard of lawsuits? They happen in major companies all the time for little itty bitty things you wouldn't believe. I work in an office setting, as do most people who read this. You can sue for even the lamest sexual or racial harassment and make millions. WWE could get in hot water if they don't watch it, which is why they brought in Meanie to go over JBL on SmackDown. It SHOULD be easy to be a wrestler, just as it's easy to get a job in an office... IF you have the skills. Wrestling is a business in the crapper; why make it difficult for people to enter it?? You should all be bending over backwards to find the next Hogan, Rock and Austin. But instead you do the old school military drills in training. Cisco Systems isn't for the weak, and yet they don't let Hugh Morrus do their corporate training. They make it enjoyable and pleasant, so that everyone can learn. Why can't wrestling training be that way? Because wrestling on the road 5 days a week isn't enjoyable?? Maybe not, but THAT'S the problem we should be fixing, not enforcing by having people like Bob Holly kick students' asses. The guys who were locked in their lockers afraid of bullies are the guys who will walk and enjoy life in their 70s and 80s, while people like Bob Holly will creak in pain every time he climbs a step. Your attitude is very old school, and that attitude is why this business never changes with the times and always goes in the crapper. That's why guys can't make a good living doing indies, because this business needs to change for the better, and people with your attitude won't let it because they want to stick to the old ways. I live in Silicon Valley, where the brightest tech minds in the world revolutionize the way you live your life. If wrestling knew how to change and adapt like the tech industry, it wouldn't be in the shape its in today. But wrestlers think like wrestlers, not entrepreneurs. And that's why 90% of the people who are trained to wrestle will never make a good living at it. They just don't get it.

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is (withheld by Armpit). I work as a referee in the Indies. I read your article about 5 pricks who need their asses kicked. One in particular caught my eye was Rick Steiner.

I have worked with Mr. Steiner on several occasions and every time he has been a true professional. Not once did he attempt to "take liberties" or "potato" anyone. He in my opinion was what a vet should be in the ring, a leader. He lead the guys through the match and pulled off a series of great matches all at his calling.

I don't think one apple spoils the batch. So Rick had one run in. Big deal, Holly has had several and he I can understand being on your list. Scott Steiner I can understand. But Rick in my opinion has done nothing wrong.

Just my opinion from working with him first hand.

Keep up the good work, your site is fun to visit.

Sincerely,
Name withheld

Hello.. this is my first time ever coming to this website and I'm wondering.. are all these articles true? The one I'm talking about is the one with Undertaker. I'm new so I don't if this is just some BS site to have fun with or a legit site. Or both. Please respond in an honest manner. Again, I'm new to the site (I love the "Ten Toughest" article) and stuff. I saw the whole thing about those guys you want someone to beat or whatever. I like JBL and I love his character. Though he did drop off of my top five favorite current stars after hearing about the whole Blue Meanie incident. I understand wrestlers sometimes give out stiff blows, but that was just unprofessional.

Also, I heard a comment that you wanted Taz to get back in the ring and wrestle. I loved Taz since I first saw his character on ECW tapes (cause god knows that getting it on TV in Indiana is harder than looking for a good Cena match) and I just wanted to say that Taz, although a great wrestler at one time, prefers to stay out of the ring. He had his neck broken several years ago in ECW and had to go under the old fashioned surgery they had back then. He decided that to keep from needing another surgery or perhaps a life/career threatening injury, he'll stay as an announcer. Sad yes, but he does need to look after his own health.

I just now read the article about Triple being caught red handed with himself. I have to say that even though I dislike the Undertaker one to the einth degree, I loved this one. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Triple H fan.. but this was just too funny.

Armpit: Yes, those articles are all true. Seriously. No, really.

WP,

I have been a huge wrestling fan my entire life, and this guy that I work with told me about your site, just that he had visited it once last year, and it made him laugh his ass off. So I took a look, and I have to tell you the undertaker no selling his baby made me spit out my drink, and i was forced to leave my computer terminal at work. It's so sad because there's so much truth in it. Did you catch the Tracy Smothers reply to Meltzer? If you haven't you should. I really dug the guys who need their ass kicked section, although I was disappointed that Old Spark Plug wasn't number one. I think he and "The Hawk" are equal bullies, and someday hopefully someone will put them in their place. The Mock my Brain section is hilarious! I loved the one on Honky. I had the pleasure of being part of a show he was on, and I can tell you that he truly believes he is the reason pro wrestling ever succeeded. I don't know what is worse, living in denial that you got jobbed to Jim Hellwig in ten seconds, or still thinking that Vince and Co. are going to call you back someday.

WOW!!! Just read the HHH/HHH love story, and I thought it was hilarious. It made me laugh harder than the Undertaker Baby story. Thanks for the link. I read Smothers reply on this web site wrestlingepicenter.com. It has stuff on it from the torch, and I don't know if you like the torch, but since I don't know, and really don't want to insult the maker of such a great site, I'll just tell you that I don't, and I try to stay away from it as much as possible. I really used to like it, but here anymore, I stay away from it. However, the smothers reply to meltzer was from smothers himself, and it wasn't credited to the torch.

Ironically, I did not catch the JBL/Meanie thing the first time I watched One Night Stand, but when I went back and watched it, I was pretty appalled. The Meanie just doesn't strike me as a good "shooter", and I really don't like The Hawk at all. If you watch the tape, you can see at one point Smothers giving JBL some pretty stiff shots. I'm reading more and more stuff about the whole Matt Hardy/Lita/Edge thing being a work, what do you think honestly?

Once again, love your site, it is awesome, and a much needed breath of fresh air to a business that is becoming more and more stagnant.

I AM AN ARMPIT MARK!!!!! And proud of it..

Joe

Armpit: Thank you. The Edge/Lita/Matt story is most definitely not a work. I did catch Smothers' reply to Meltzer, which was pathetic. Calling Meltzer unathletic?? Hello, he's like one of the most athletic people in the entire Bay Area. I like Tracy but he's 100% wrong in his reply to Meltzer.

WP,

I agree with you on the people who need their ass kicked. I thought of one
wrestler who you can add to on that list. His name is Brock Lesnar! Now this
is wrestler who seriously needs his ass kicked, and for his own good to.
Every time I hear about what Lesnar is doing next makes me laugh my ass off.
I mean how many times is this guy going to shoot himself on his own foot?

From the very start back at Wrestle Mania 20. I heard rumors of Brock
leaving after WM 20 to pursue a career in the NFL. I thought they were just
rumors to hype his match with Goldberg. I thought Brock is not that stupid
to leave everything he's got going for him in the WWE for the NFL. I was
wrong as it turns out yes Brock is that stupid, and it just doesn't stop
there ether. He gets dumber ever time I read about him on the net. I was
right when I said Brock will come back in a year begging for his job back.
When that failed he fails a lawsuit against the WWE saying his 6 year no
compete contract that he signed himself on his own free will was not fair to
him. Cause he can't appear or wrestle for Japan, or for TNA for that matter.

He needs work, and he can't figure out the reason why he is unemployed right
now, because of his actions. He can't figure out why Vince won't listen to
his special demands that he wants to add to his contract. He is all muscle
and no brains, but what really gets me is. What I read today the latest news
on Brock. According to the Bismark news article in an interview about his no
chance in hell on winning his lawsuit. Brock was quoted saying. He hopes he
and Vince can put this lawsuit being them, and he accepts Vince to open the
doors for him to make a WWE comeback. Well if Brock does go back to the WWE
ya right like that would happen. I hope all those wrestlers that job to him
will gang up, and give Lesnar a really good welcome back ass kicking of a
lifetime.

Kevin

Armpit: Brock Lesnar is just a big farm boy from the Midwest. Guys like that, who grew up having no clue what being a star celebrity is like, are bound to make mistakes when they are young. He's my age, and had a lot of growing up to do, but again, he grew up on a farm. Now that he's had a major life experience to learn from, he'll probably act more mature. Bottom line is WWE needs big name talent, and he's got star power. He's also very talented and will give SmackDown a huge boost. Anyone who, if given the choice, would choose Spike Dudley over Brock to headline a PPV would be a fool to choose Spike. I still agree they should've kept Spike because he's a model employee and a talented guy. But I do not disagree with the decision to bring back Brock. Besides, no one will kick his ass because not many people can.

Hello again,

I e-mailed you a few weeks ago about the Ken Patera / Mr. Saito "Big Mac Attack" incident in Wisconsin. I've since had an idea for a goofy story you may want to go with. I got the idea from watching my new little baby's eyes roll back in her head on occasion when she is feeding (believe me, she is really cute when she does it though!).

I thought of having a "no pupils" wrestling stable, consisting of Undertaker, Kane, Viscera, and any others who roll their eyes back as part of their character. Imagine this trio coming down to the ring, no eye color visible among them. In your story, you could have them bankrolled by a mysterious financier, who turns out to be, of course, Daddy Warbucks.

Of course, the stable would raise objections from some national albino anti-defamation group, claiming that it paints an incorrect picture of people without pigments and violent sadists.

In a really obscure twist, bring in a quote from "Rudy" of the old "Fat Albert" cartoon. "It's like a schoolhouse without pupils - No class!"

Just some goofy thoughts to throw your way for a Monday. Do what you will with it.

Dave

Is there a website that covers a Where are they Now" of former Wrestlers. Or one that states what happened to them, such as death, retirement, career change, etc.

No name given

Armpit: There's a newsletter devoted to that. Try this link and see if it meets your needs:

http://www.1wrestlinglegends.com/crowbarpress/wht/index.html

I recently read your article about which WWE superstars you believe are on steroids, and I thought I would try to give you some professional insight. I just finished my internship as a physician and have become involved in a study of the effects of steroid use in athletes. I've also been a fan of professional wrestling since I was a child back in 1985. Having spent hours throughout my life watching tape of wrestling from the 60's to today, and having spent many hours as well studying the steroid issue, I believe I might be able to provide a bit of expert opinion.

First of all, I want to say that while there may be extensive use of legal steroids within the WWE locker rooms, I don't believe there is much use of the illegal variety and I think that we should make that distinction up front. Also, of course, there is no way to be absolutely sure whether one is using or not. Sometimes it's only a matter of gut instinct from having seen the results of steroid abuse numerous times. Now, on to the roster:

BATISTA

While it is entirely possible to have that kind of physique at his age without the use of steroids, I'm inclined to believe that Dave Batista is a user. Due to the lifestyle, and the stress as you have mentioned, it would be highly unlikely he could attain (and maintain) that physique naturally.

CHRIS BENOIT

I would have to disagree with you on Benoit, but more on a technicality. I don't think that Benoit is on steroids per se. However, as I'm sure you are aware there are a number of other chemicals out there that can be used to attain similar results. Of course it's hard to say for sure, it just comes down to my gut on this one. I don't think we'd be seeing these results from steroids.

CHRIS MASTERS

Yes, absolutely.

CHRISTIAN

Once again I have to agree with you on this one. While I do think he used in the past however, I don't believe he was ever a serious user.

DAIVARI

I believe he's using but I would be very surprised if he has done so for very long. I would guess he began using just prior to entering WWE.

EDGE

Edge has said that he no longer uses, and I'm inclined to believe him. He obviously has difficulty putting on mass, but I would expect more obvious gains if he were using.

GENE SNITSKY

No question, this guy's on the juice.

HHH

Once again, he's likely a user. However this one's not as obvious as you have made it out to be. There are definitely others on the roster who are more typical examples.

KANE

This may surprise you but I have to disagree with you on this one. While he's no doubt massive, and not as toned as he once was I would attribute this more to training and diet than usage. Also, with a guy this size he'll do well no matter what so it would be foolish to even consider using.

RANDY ORTON

It's hard to say. I would like to say yes because I despise the guy, but in truth I'm sort of inclined to believe that he's clean. While his father was never a large man either, I think he would be much larger than he has been if he were using. On the other hand he does have a reputation for laziness, and steroids are the lazy man's workout. I would say it's slightly more likely than not he's clean.

SHELTON BENJAMIN

You said, "when you're on the road constantly, you don't keep a physique that good except in very rare cases." Well, I think this is one of those very rare cases. It could honestly go either way, but again that gut thing is telling me no.

BIG SHOW

I think Mr. Wight was using back in his WCW days. Now, I don't think so. As you stated why would he? Also, steroid usage is known to speed the deterioration of the joints. Now, men his size are notorious for having knee problems which would be exacerbated by his acromegaly even if it's being treated which it obviously is. Under these circumstances it would be catastrophic for him to use for any length of time.

BILLY KIDMAN

No. I really don't believe that Kidman is on the juice. His gains weren't overnight as you stated, and his physique appears more natural than most. The right diet and training regimen could easliy account for his appearance. This is another case where I really dislike the guy however, and I would love to say that he was a user.

BOB HOLLY

Finally, an asshole who I get to condemn. Yes, there is no doubt in my mind that he's using and has been for some time now. For all of us wise enough to despise this bastard, the one consolation is that he'll pay for it eventually. If this guy came to me for treatment, I would have to help him but until then I'm get to revel in the evil things that await him down the road.

BOOKER T

Yes, I'm sure Booker used to be on steroids but I don't think that he is currently. There is no doubt in my mind, given footage of him in the past, that he would be considerably larger if he was using. He's just not all that big by WWE's standards. Just to be sure on this one I went back to some tape of his days in Japan and later in WCW. I think the verdict is obvious.

CARLITO

Nope, not a user. I think.

CHARLIE HAAS

I think he is but he doesn't need to be. The sad thing here is that he could have a very comparable physique, I believe, without usage. There would be some change but I think it would be negligible.

CHAVO GUERRERO

Absolutely. I wanted to disagree on this one and even reviewed old tape hoping there'd be something to convince me I was wrong on this one, but unfortunately I had to conclude that I was right all along and so were you.

EDDIE GUERRERO

I think he's on something. I don't know for sure that it's steroids, but I wouldn't be too surprised. There is a less obvious change here than in Chavo but it's undeniable nonetheless.

JBL

I don't think so, but it's possible.

JOHN CENA

First, let me tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your sight, 'cause you gotta be blind if you don't think this guy's juiced up. I will admit that I'm not a fan of Cena's but I honestly don't think that my dislike for a guy who couldn't wrestle a decent match to save his life is clouding my judgement here. The guy obviously works out hard and is in great shape, but there's no way that he's clean.

HEIDENREICH

This one could go either way. Given the obvious climate of usage in the company though, I'd say it's likely.

KURT ANGLE

Okay, you're going to think I'm crazy here, but I don't think he's using. Aside from the fact that an Olympic Gold medalist should know better, I don't think his physique is that of a user. He's much smaller than he's been in the past and his current build is all too easily obtainable if you work hard enough. When he was training for the Olympics his focus was very different than it is now, where the main focus is mass. His conditioning is, as I'm sure he would readily admit, is not what it was in '96. The priorities have just changed.

NUNZIO

I would be shocked if this guy is using.

SCOTTY 2 HOTTY

While he may have used in the past, I don't think he is now. Probably for the best.

Anyway, that is my 2 cents worth. I will say as well that though I think the effects on a persons health are horrible, I don't find the use of steroids to be that big a deal. These are all adults that have the opportunity to find out what the results of such usage are and if they decide to use despite that, they're not hurting anyone but themselves and should be allowed to do so. Of course, if my boss ever heard me say such a thing I'd lose my job in a heartbeat as we're supposed to be "spearheading the battle against steroid use among athletes." Ah well, it's a hell of a good job for someone just off their internship.

Freddy

Armpit: I showed your letter to a friend of mine who is extremely knowledgeable about steroids and who uses them. Here was his response: Wow is he naive. I was at Smackdown and the only guys who weren't on were possibly Funaki (although if I had to bet I'd say he is because he's a guy who likes to play pro wrestler and is naturally tiny), Super Crazy (no way), Juventud (may not be, but knowing him, probably is), London (possibly clean), Joy Giovanni, possibly Michelle McCool, and maybe JBL. Benoit? The guy is 185 clean and Angle can't lift anything and is so full of (withheld by Armpit) that it's sick. By the way, if you can find a guy who is 39 like Batista and 285 with almost no bodyfat, who has a waist like his and is clean, let me know. That may have been the stupidest line I've ever read. I've seen plenty of natural freaks of nature, and you don't see them cut and big like that weighing more than 235. I met (withheld by Armpit) when he told me he was clean, and given what he looks like now, I believe it, and he is among most genetically gifted human on the planet, and he was no more than 215 when I met him in 1994. He's now 295 and cut. I will say this about Batista, he is not on nearly as much as he was when they signed him, because he was 315 in OVW and even more cut than now, but then again, no travel and an easy schedule to never miss workouts.

You had a question in your last quiz about who was the first wrestler to be electrocuted. I would have thought abbey as well. Although it should be noted that the Great Muta was teaming with Terry Funk against Ric Flair and Sting at a Halloween Havoc 89. The match featured an electrified cage. Whatever juice was in the cage was turned off because of a fire but that didn't stop Great Muta from doing a great job of selling getting shocked
(let's remember that Abbey getting shocked was a work as well). Therefore it would be The Great Muta who was the first wrestler to get electrocuted. I'm not trying to be nit picky, I just wanted to expand the wrestling knowledge. Keep up the good work.

Matt Mazany

Armpit: That is true, but the quiz didn't ask who was first to be electrocuted. It asked about wrestling's "most famous" electrocution. By the way, if you go back and watch that Muta match, you'll see Ric Flair do the lamest elbow to the throat I've ever seen. He missed by several inches, and the camera caught it up close. A rare screw-up by our beloved Flair.

I was wanting to give a comment about your interview page.

One comment is about Stone Cold Steve Austin. You said he was able to dig down and bring out the intensity or something like that. That's actually very true. He dug up all that darkness and anger he had inside himself from how he kept being screwed over in WCW. In ECW it was starting to come out, but he never actually had the time to release his frustration. When WWE called him, he was stuck with that Ringmaster gimmick which could sound good on paper, but was lousy when played out. So, when he was given his chance to change his gimmick and actually speak, he was on fire. He was able to dig up all that anger from WCW and Ringmaster gimmick to give off his personality. However, after becoming perhaps the most popular wrestler in history, he doesn't have much to be angry from (with exception of the whole Debra incident.)

My next is.. um.. I forgot! O.O Ok, I remember, it's about Ric Flair. Unfortunately, I only watched two editions of WCW before it went out of business, but I never got to see Flair. Though, I do think it would have been tons better if Flair had teamed with Batista (for longer than two minutes.) Trips could have stayed out for maybe a few more months and work out while Flair becomes the voice for Batista while Batista continues his dominance. Then Trips can return and settle the feud.

You are right about how promos were the bread and butter that got you to the arena to see "real" matches, not squashes. IN Buffalo we had the NWF run by Pedro Martinez who had great talkers in villains like Waldo Von Erich.

Von Erich knew how to get under the skin of his opponent and get under your skin since he just insulted your hero. Vo Erich knew how to be a wild boasting madman, but also be a cowering coward when it was time.

Johnny Powers was the golden boy who sweet talked his fans every week.

Dominic Denucci was the wild Italian whose blood boiled when ever his hertage was insulted. I rememebr when the Shiek's manager, Abdulah Farouk would insult Denucci before a Toronto match. The Toronto promotion was a seperate promotion back in the 60's and 70's by Frank Tunney. We could train our rabbit ears in Buffalo to get their programming. Farouk one day said this about Denucci.

"My man the Shiek refuses to wrestle the spaghetti bender Denucci this Sunday Night at Maple Leaf Gardens"

TV guy "Why Mr. Farouk?"

"Because of the stench from Denucci!. The stench of garlic, olive oil and oregano from the spaghetti bender"

Holy s**t, Denucci hit the studio yelling in Italian and beating the Shiek and Farouk until they ran away.

Von Erich and other heels would always call Denucci a "Spaghetti bender" to get Denucci riled up on TV

Ernie Ladd was also great as he would come out in his pimp clothes and a crown on his head. His line was "Listen Mr. TV announcer"

The best tag team we had on the mike in my opinion was Johnny and Donny Fargo. Greg Valentine was Donny Fargo as his father Johnny Valentine was also in the promotion some times. Johnny would do the talking trash while Donny would make gestures with his hands.

The Love brothers had Bruce Swayzee, related to Patrick Swayzee, do the talking for Hartford and Reginold Love.

Those were the days when you had an evening every few weeks devoted to attending cards in person.

When NWA wrestling became national I always had a soft spot for Jim Cornette. Here are my two best lines from Cornette on the TBS wrestling show.

During a tag match, Bobby Eaton drags a jabroni and shoves his head under the ropes at the TV camera. Bobby puts his fingers in the kids mouth and stretches it wide. Cornette looks at the kid and shoves a mike in his face and yells at the kids:

"Now go one and smile for your momma on TV. Tell her how great you are doing in the wrestling business boy" It was priceless.

Another time, Cornette was doing a promo on upcoming Rhodes matches when he tells the announcer:

"I tell you that Dusty Rhode's father was named after a shoe"

Announcer "Tom Mcann?"

"No, a Black Loafer"

I have never stopped both laughing at the line and how it got past censors. AT that time, Dusty was on fire with his promos on TBS. He really spoke like a black dude at times. I can see how he could get an entire audience living and dying by him in the ring.

That is what is missing as you no longer have guys who make you suspend belief and feel their heart punches and how the wind gets knocked out of them.

Piper knew how to rile up anyone. Flair knew how to talk his mouth off and make you want to both see his ass kicked, his face bleeding, but you always wanted another match with him so he could talk more trash.

Don Muraco also knew how to smirk. His best time on TV was when Gene Okerlund was asking him how he was preparing for a series of matches with I think Ricky Steamboat. Muraco came out with a box of donuts and said he was preparing by eating donuts, He offered Okerlund a donut and then ate a dozen on TV. Muraco also just about created a riot in MSG when he was facing Pedro Morales and insulted Morales by saying that he represented all that was wrong in NYC. Lazy, dirty, filthy., smelly, like the streets of NYC. Morales hit the studio and started to pound on Muraco.

Paul K. This really is becoming a lost art.

I got to give you big props on your site and Brad for making my idea coming to life. Let me know if you need ideas. Peace

Armpit: I'm withholding this guy's name, but he was the soldier who gave Brad the idea to do an article on the best talkers in wrestling.

Awesome, awesome site! I just found it and I love it. I'm linking you. Can you return the favor?

Mason Raige
Professional Wrestling's Premier Powerhouse
www.masonraige.com

Hey man,

Just wanted to take the time and let you know how badass your site is. I stumbled across it a couple weeks ago and have been hooked since. I know it probably takes a lot of time and effort to run a site so I just wanted to wish you a job well done!

Thanks for a very entertaining site,

Nick from Baltimore

Don't you know there are no side effects from steroids or GH?

Did you see the FX show last Wednesday where this 34 year old coach
potato took up bodybuilding, and went on steroids, GH and all sorts of
vitamins. After two weeks, getting checked out, his liver was already
not functioning correctly.

On the pro-steroid boards and even MMA fighting boards, when this was
brought up, the reason behind it had to have been the vitamins he was
taking because everyone KNOWS there are no side effects from moderate
steroid or GH use.

In fact, it's commonly KNOWN that even though the corner who examined
Davey Boy said his death was due to steroids, Dr. Mauro DiPasquale, who
knew Davey in the early 90s and KNOWS that nobody has ever died from
steroids, said how the coroner was wrong, even though he didn't examine
him, and he knew Davey often ate at McDonalds, and his bad diet caused
his death.

Armpit: I'm withholding this person's name, but I loved his sarcasm.

So who's the father of Dawn Marie's kid? I see on the internet that there are teases that it's a wwe superstar, but when you click on it takes you somewhere else. I hate to say I'm glued but it is a bit intriguing.

Vincent

Armpit: I haven't heard those rumors. I will say that several weeks ago in the Observer, Meltzer hinted about a fling between a WWE diva and a WWE wrestler who was later let go. He never mentioned them by name, and I have no knowledge of whom he was referring to. However, if I had to guess, I'd guess the diva was Dawn Marie. Meltzer gave the hint that many in the WWE locker room were friends with this diva's boyfriend and were pissed when they found out she cheated on him. Well, Dawn's boyfriend was Simon Diamond, and he'd be popular with guys in the WWE locker room like Dudleys, Dreamer, Taz, etc. And then suddenly Dawn and Simon broke up. Coincidence? I don't know. And I don't know who the father of Dawn's kid is. I feel bad for Dawn that she got fired.

There's absolutely no way that (Montreal being a work) this is possible. I will say before anything that I respect conspiracy theories, however. I enjoyed reading this, but I must
disagree with Mike Shannon for the following reasons:

(A) The twenty year contract Bret signed was only for three more years of
wrestling, during which Bret would receive $1.5 million each year (half of the
WCW $3 million offer already on the table). For the rest of the contract Bret
would have a front-office job and creative influence but would be making
considerably less (though respectable) pay. As for the contract being made
public knowledge, a superstar as infinitely popular in the sport as Bret Hart
has much trouble keeping an expiring contract a secret because people want to
know the information. It was no secret that Bret was in negotiations with both
the WCW and the WWE and people inside and outside of the industry were curious
about what decision he would make in the midst of a ratings war between the two
companies. There is nothing suspicious about that.

(B) This point is completely preposterous! Bret was so adamant about being a
hero in Canada (especially since his heel turn had alienated the majority of
American fans) that he would NEVER agree to drop the belt in that territory and
certainly not to Shawn Michaels of all people. Vince did however tell Bret to
take the WCW offer because (1) he couldn't/wouldn't match the money and (2)
Bret's character did not fit the "attitude" direction that Vince was looking to
take the character. This actually became evident when Bret began to publicly
speak out against the creative direction of the WWE. Furthermore, one serious
problem that Vince had with Bret retaining the title at the '97 Survivor Series
was that the very next day Bret's contract with WCW would be in effect and he
did not want his WWE champion showing up on Nitro with his belt the way former
WWE Women's Champion Alundra Blaze did.

(C) This is exactly what you said; Bret's character. Behind the camera time and
time again Bret Hart (the man) proved his integrity and dedication to the
business. How many shows did Hart miss in his career? How many other wrestlers
did he injure? How many did he refuse to work with? Bret Hart (the man) was a
class act, not to be confused with The Hitman (the character) whose personality
was constructed by a team of writers. This was obviously Vince's way of
justifying what he did to Bret. Who can forget the "Bret screwed Bret" Raw promo?

(D) Actually, Bret (as seen during another personal situation in the
documentary) asked that the cameras be removed from the room while he showered
and dressed. This is before Vince comes in. This is why we only get the shot
of Vince and Shane from outside of the locker room and later coming out
(staggering).

Actually, both the Bulldog and Niedhart were bought out of their contracts, but
Owen who had six years remaining, was not allowed out by Vince McMahon. They
were ALL in Bret's corner and tried to get out of their contracts. None of the
Hart Foundation showed up for RAW for two weeks after Survivor Series. It is
actually rumored around the WWE (and confirmed in interviews by Bret) that Owen
became less willing to follow Vince's trashier storylines because of the
incident and was punished with embarrassing storylines like th return of the
Blue Blazer. They all wanted out, but Vince had the power over Owen. Bulldog
ended up in WCW, remember?

The Vince "Bret Screwed Bret" interview was Vince's idea to make himself a
character and have even more hands-on control over the company's creative
direction. He explains his reasoning for this during WWE's documentary "The
Monday Night Wars."

Unfortunately, there will be no Bret Hart return to wrestling. After his
concussion and stroke, he is not medically cleared to wrestle and he has
expressed that he has no desire whatsoever to reconcile with Vince McMahon.
True, stranger things have happened, but at the end of the day, Vince screwed Bret.

Sincerely,
A HUGE Bret Hart fan (to be clear, i'm not huge, my admiration for Hart is :-),
tbrown

Where is the embarrassing picture you promised us dude? You are swerving us
(that's so McMahonish).

Mickel

In your Column Half Ass Half year in review under the WWE matches of note section there is a mistake. Where it says Edge vs. HHH, It should say HHH vs. Chris Benoit. That was from the Gold Rush Tournament that had Michaels vs. Benjamin.

Sincerely,

Louis

Hey Professor, there is a site called Voice Of Wrestling that has a weekly radio show. Anyway they have a forum and have got a few big names to answer questions there. One guy they just got was Rob Feinstein. Maybe someone should ask him why he is too good to do your interview, or maybe give him a link to the "mock my brain" article. Why be interesting to see what he has to say.

Paul

Armpit: With him getting back into promoting, he's got enough challenges as it is. The guy does have to make a living. We're definitely not done making jokes with him, but I'll wait a little while. I might save something for when our newsletter comes out, as I have an idea for a comedy piece with him.

Dear Armpit Wrestling,
I recently found your website and have read a couple of articles here and there, and have enjoyed what I have read so far.

I just finished reading "The World According to Vince," Parts 1 and 2, and had to respond by saying, "good job."

In regards to three points you made:

Vince has created more stars than anyone. I agreed with every letter Brad Ravlin wrote. In the 80's, most of the guys that were brought in were already huge stars in other territories, especially Hulk Hogan. I always felt that WWF took big stars (such as Hogan) or would be stars (like Steve Austin and Mick Foley) and presented them a bigger platform for them to ply their trade. Plus, I feel Vince and his crew helped to polish their acts and make them appear as smooth as possible.

Bret screwed Bret. No, Vince did, enough said.

It's not Vince who decides who's a star. It's the fans. You know, I was really glad to see this one, because, as a regular on WWE Chat, I preach on how false that statement is all the time. When RVD arrived in 2001, he received the loudest pops out of everyone involved with that Invasion angle. And after being in a triple threat main event with Kurt Angle and Austin, he was buried deeper and quicker than Mark Calloway at the 2003 Survivor Series

Mr. Ravlin said, "If that's true, why is Tazz a color commentator instead of throwing people all over the ring and causing them to land on their head? Dammit, I'm a fan and that's what I want!" There was a point during the invasion angle where Austin was humiliating Taz and whipping him like..a government mule. For a moment, it looked like Taz was going to revert to old school Taz and make a bow tie out of Austin's large intestine. The fans were aligning themselves with Taz. I don't know if injuries or politics prevented this angle from going further., but I feel the WWF dropped the ball BIG TIME on that one.

Finally, as a suggestion, there is one piece of business that I would like brought to a public forum for (s)mark consumption: Does anyone find it coincidental that at the same time HHH and Stephanie McMahon's love affair began, Mick Foley quit wrestling, The Rock hightailed it to Hollywood, Austin's injuries "ended" his career, and The Undertaker and HHH have not been booked on the same show in three years?

Keep up the great work guys. Thanks for adding a refreshing look at pro wrestling.

Sincerely,
Michael Gomez

Armpit: Regarding your last paragraph, yes, I really do think those are coincidences.

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