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Ask the Armpit

April 2005

We welcome your comments and questions on the world of pro wrestling, mixed martial arts (MMA), and the Armpit in general.  To submit your comments, please use the form on our Contact Us page.

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I think it's time to officially label me a wuss. If you picked my brain to the extent you want to pick it, I'm afraid there would be nothing left!

Time is also a huge factor. We just lost a boxing editor and will not be replacing him. Fun, fun. More work for all!

Stu Saks

Editor, Pro Wrestling Illustrated

Armpit: Stu, you gave us this great quote: "Just discovered your site.  I now have a new lunchtime destination!"  After that great endorsement, you'll always be on our Christmas card list.  No problem on the Pick My Brain, and good luck with the mag.

Kudos to the ArmpitWrestling gang for your laugh out loud, hilarious, spot on, Mock My Brain with Wade Keller. Brilliant!

I enjoyed the Torch and its excellent writing from its inception but lost interest over the years as it spiraled down to the level of The National Enquirer. But tabloid journalism sells, especially to naive young marks. Who cares about accuracy and integrity when you're making a mint off the business. While I don't begrudge anyone doing so, it is rather pathetic that in doing just that one has produced hordes of marks who think that by reading the Torch every week they magically now know all about the business.   I'll stick to the Observer and the Figure Four thank you very much.

Keep up the good work.

Donn Wingate

I just read the Edge/HHH article recently posted on the site and I must say it's a winner! I had protein shake come out of my nose I was laughing so hard in a few spots. The picture of Charlie Haas was so funny to me for some reason in relation to the article. Also the end about Stephanie was pure gold. Keep up the good work, that one is classic!

premiumcream

Re: the Mock My Brain with Wade Keller.  In the immortal words of guitar god Zakk Wylde:  "Oh, the  brutality!"

Brad

Armpit: You should've read the original.  A million times more brutal.

After seeing a couple of my favorite wrestlers leave WWE this week,  I have been forced to re-think the past.   And as such, I feel I picked a fight with the WRONG Laurinaitis brother.

Finding out that JOHN was the negotiator at Nora Greenwald's {aka "Molly Holly"} meeting & did nothing to keep the best female wrestler in the business from leaving, makes me want to take back the challenge I gave to JOE (Animal), & shove it down JOHN's throat! What? Not enough T & A from her? Lord knows you better not trust what the performer would like to do, or the direction THEY think THEIR character should go! {Thanks for the 15 minutes JOHN!}

NO. WWE would rather put more dumb bimbos on my screen. DAMN IT! I pay for cable! Listen to me! I was I Nielsons member till last month, I'm glad I only watched WWE on the set without the monitoring equipment. No way would I give the ratings to such crap! (TNA got them though. As did the Ultimate Fighter) HA!

"We here at WWE, don't give a damn about what the fans like. In fact, we don't care if we lose fans, lose money, lose ratings. As long as we have the power over life & death, (& all the free bimbo p*ssy we can shake our wilted d!cks at) nothing else matters!"

"We like screwing so much, that we'll screw or fans, AND our employees. Male or female. We don't care."

And what about Matt Hardy?

We all know JOHN did not like Matt when he first came in. Gee I hope he can sleep better now, knowing that Hardy is finally gone. Some people hold the stupidest grudges

How can they be so blind as to not see what is so obvious to us? Don't they read your web site? Or any other site? Christ! In my business, you HAVE to see what the fans want in order to survive. Read the "Armpit", or check out  Dave Meltzer site. It's all out there for them to see what we want. ("It's our playground, & we make the rules") Reminds me of a spoiled baby that never smiles when you 'goochy goo' them, they only leave you a dirty diaper!

In finishing, I really don't blame those two for leaving. How can such talent be satisfied working out of the bottom of the barrel, or having to hold your skills in check. 

WWE acts like I did when I was in my early 20's, traveling around as a talent scout for Disney World/Epcot Center. "Oooooo it's easy to get girls doing this. Just hold some try outs & see who sucks your wanker." Promise them the world, & then dump them & say it wasn't my fault!

Shame on me for acting that way. & even bigger shame on WWE.  At least my excuse was that I was an egotistical punk with no mentor or guide lines. Thank goodness I left all that behind as I matured. WWE is still in it's infancy, meaning we'll all be dead of old age by the time it matures.  

So to Joe Laurinatis;

I'm sorry I was such a pain in the ass to you that night. It was the head of your lily liver brother that I wanted.

Sven Hozz

Armpit: You might recall that the guy who wrote this letter, Sven Hozz, picked a fight with Road Warrior Animal in the early 1980s, before he was a wrestler.  John Laurinaitis is Animal's brother, and many people feel John DOES need a good beating after how he's been doing at his job with WWE. 

The Top 10 Ridiculous Finishing Maneuvers article reminded me of that article you had some time back about Six Wrestling Moves that Should be Banned. A lot of your readers were pretty harsh on that writer. I hope Brad Ravlin gets a better response.

James Hold

Armpit: Thanks to a plug on WrestlingClassics.com, that article got an insane amount of hits.  Congrats, Brad.  Your stuff is getting read more than mine is.

To paraphrase the Simpsons, it (article on WWE hiring Goofy) is scary 'cause it's true.

Au Bon Pain!,

Gregg Allinson

Just a quick comment/question. I know a lot of the guys in wrestling (and a lot of other places) use steroids but now it seems that any guy that is built is assumed to be on steroids. I know this site is mostly for jokes but pretty much every wrestling site states that guys are on steroids like they inject it in their backyard and in the middle of matches. There are some people who are just workout addicts. I think Batista might be one of them even though that may be hard to believe.

My question is this: of the main stream wrestlers are there any who can be said that definitely use steroids? I mean were they ever caught or anything or is it just well known that they do? Just curious and I figure you guys would know. Thanx.

Sean4ECW

Armpit:  It's a lot easier if you realize who does NOT use steroids, since they are in the tiny minority.  Lance Storm and the Hardys are the three who immediately come to mind as outspoken against steroids.  Others probably don't need it, like Foley, Big Show, Bubba Ray Dudley, Spike Dudley, and a few others.  It has been documented in court that Hogan, Brian Blair, Dan Spivey, Roddy Piper, and Vince McMahon received steroids from Dr. George Zahorian.  Some have admitted it in interviews, such as Edge, Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Raven, Superstar Billy Graham, David Shultz, Steve Austin, Brian Pillman, and some others I can't remember.  Lex Luger was found with steroids and HGH in his home a couple years ago.  Hector Garza can't wrestle in the US because he was caught with them recently.  Then you have guys who haven't admitted it, but if you look at old photos and look at them now, it's a world of difference.  Billy Gunn, Shane Douglas, HHH, Kurt Angle, Road Warriors, Eddy Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Curt Hennig, etc come to mind.  Really, pretty much everyone in the 80s except for Dusty Rhodes had probably used them at some point, many heavily.  Use in WWF during the 80s peak was estimated at 85-90% minimum.  Right now, who knows, because HGH has become popular in addition to steroids.  Just use common sense.  These guys are on the road constantly, and doing that interferes with your training and diet regimen.  Look at the indie scene, and then look at OVW.  You'll notice the difference immediately.  Gene Snitsky has major acne on his back.  Scott Steiner kept tearing his bicep, and HHH has torn his quad twice.  Batista is just enormous.  Dan Severn won't fight Ken Shamrock unless Shamrock takes a steroid test (he won't).  Also, look at WWF in mid 92 through mid 94.  They were serious about steroid testing then, and it showed in the physiques.  Normal physiques are Matt and Jeff Hardy.  And who has physiques like them?  I have no proof that anyone ever used steroids, but not any supplement will make people gain the weight and have the muscle definition that wrestlers do.  Only steroids and HGH do that. 

If you get plenty of emails you could start a column with the stupidest questions you get asked, i'll start you off

1. who is the new undertaker? how did the old one die?

2. I heard that abyss is the ultimate warrior after he got his knees done is that true?

3. Is parts unknown a place in texas?

well now i'll wait and see if i get a reply

Thank you again, if i could help you i would with your site as it is like another dose of crap now wreslrecrap has been more relaxed with its fans. I dont suppose you have heard who is buying it off old R.D? He seemed to be dropping hints but i couldn't tell.

Bye and stop reading now

seriously press reply.

Lewis (UK)

Armpit: As is well known now, the story about RD selling WretleCrap was an April Fool's joke.

Hey I just wanted to tell you how much I love those columns Bob Allyn is writing for the site. I was wondering was Bob a wrestling fan before he met Gordon's daughter Pam? The site is great as always.

Paul Kennett

Armpit: Here's Bob Allyn's response to your question:  "Before I met Pam, I was only a fan of amateur wrestling.   Two of my best friends were dedicated high school wrestlers and when I wasn't playing basketball, I attended their matches.  My first interest in pro wrestling came during our honeymoon when I first saw and heard Gordon on Channel 44 doing CWF out of Tampa. He was totally different than the carney type wrestling announcers I heard earlier  in my life. After that, I would catch Gordon on cable even though we were 1200 miles away because he was nationally syndicated.  The respect I have today for many of the fans and performers really came to fruition while I was doing research for the book. They were  extremely pleasant and displayed a reverence when asked about Gordon Solie."

Dude what's UP I am the one who sent you the Booker~T story (the backstage fight with Craig Titus).  I run GOLD'S Gym. No thanks or shout out

§uicidal§idekick

Armpit: The guy who wrote this is none other than Tony Pearson, who was a very famous bodybuilder in the late 1970s and 1980s.  Dave Meltzer even met him many years ago.  Check out www.tonypearson.net.